Understanding Attachment and Bonding

Here at FOZA we read the concerns and comments from postpartum moms related to "not feeling bonded" with their baby. This podcast from Mom & Mind brings important insight on why you are not alone in your feelings and how you can avoid the feelings of guilt that can accompany understanding attachment and bonding. 

Today’s show focuses on attachment and bonding. Some parents feel immediate love and connection with their new baby, but for many, they struggle to achieve a “normal” bond. The good news is that there are specific steps parents can take to understand the basics of attachment and bonding. Join us to learn more!
Beth Warren is a psychotherapist in private practice in San Diego, California. She has a passion for reproductive mental health and has worked in this field for over 20 years. Beth is certified in EMDR therapy and Perinatal Mental Health, specializing in perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, birth trauma, pregnancy loss, and infertility. She has worked in both hospital and outpatient psychiatric settings and has led postpartum support groups for new mothers. She is a current member and previously served as the President of the Board of the Postpartum Health Alliance, a nonprofit organization in San Diego dedicated to promoting awareness of Perinatal Mental Health. In addition to working as a therapist and EMDR consultant, she facilitates trainings and is a regular speaker, lecturer, podcast/radio guest. She has written a newly released book called The Pregnancy and Postpartum Mood Workbook, which helps new parents navigate their emotions and build skills towards mental wellness through their journey of parenthood. 
Show Highlights:

• The fundamental basics of bonding and attachment
• How bonding includes feelings of warmth, connection, protection, and responsibility that unfold over time
• How traumatic births can delay feelings of bonding and attachment
• How a disruption in attachment from your childhood can play out to delay bonding with your own child
• How an anxious parent can have an effect on how that child grows up and then parents their own child—and why they might want to parent differently
• How culture and community can play into parenting because of our experiences in life
• Why parents have to heal themselves in order to be good parents and break multi-generational patterns
• How perinatal mood and anxiety disorders can cause delayed bonding, but the good news is that parents can keep working on it
• How the feedback loop happens as a new baby grows and develops to interact with his parents
• Why mirror neurons are vitally important for babies to learn from their parents
• How therapy can help parents learn what they are doing well even when they don’t feel the bonding with their baby that they want
• How Beth works with parents to help them think about what their baby “would thank them for today”
• How words of affirmation and encouragement can make all the difference for an anxious mom
• Beth’s advice for parents to promote bonding and attachment:
• Talk to your baby during every chance for interaction.
• Why some parents have the distorted belief that their baby doesn’t like them or they are a bad parent when they don’t understand how bonding unfolds over time
• How positive quiet-time intervention can help the struggling parent
• How Beth’s new book, The Pregnancy and Postpartum Mood Workbook, has suggested bonding and attachment exercises

Resources:
Bethany Warren LCSW  
Find Beth on Instagram.
The Pregnancy and Postpartum Mood Workbook: The Guide to Surviving Your Emotions When Having a Baby by Bethany Warren and Beth Creager Berger