Emotional Support - The Benefits to Maternal Mental Wellness

As promised, on Epi-36 of the FOZA Podcast for Maternal Mental Wellness, here is the short video dedicated to the week of Maternal Suicide Awareness.  It is downloadable, so please share, or you can share from Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, X, or LinkedIn. 

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The Complete Conversation On Emotional Support

Importance: Emotional support from family, friends, and community members provides mothers with a sense of belonging, validation, and comfort during challenging times. And yes… I say challenging times because no matter where your journey in life has brought you form or where it’s taking you once you become a parent, one you become a mom you’ll face challenges you never expected Blessedly no all of them will be mountains however if you run into enough hills they can feel like mountains and just as tedious

The positive Impact on those who receive emotional support during the pregnancy period and beyond make it less likely that they will experience postpartum depression and anxiety. That means they may never reach the deeper stages and yet research has shown that many still do still suffer from feelings of isolation, stress, and the overwhelming responsibilities of motherhood.
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In this month with extra attention placed on this critical topic the airways are going to be filled with Practical Ways to Provide Emotional Support –That means Offering Practical Help and Daily Assistance Support
Friends, family, and community members can alleviate some of the challenges birthing people face by offering practical help. This could include preparing and delivering meals, helping with household chores, or taking care of older siblings. By managing these everyday tasks, new parents can focus on their recovery and bonding with their baby, this can reduce stress, fatigue and the possibility of depression.

All of that is as it should be but I’m going to keep this conversation focused on the real underlying reason for this podcast: What happens when spouses, family members, caregivers and even medical professionals  encounter resistance? What happens when the mother rejects offers of help.  And Why would she not accept assistance?
Way back in Episode 19, we delved into the topic “Why Moms Don’t Speak Up.”, and it’s worth it to reiterate some of the information such as:

• She may feel as if she is burdening others
• She may want to prove her independence
• She may feel embarrassed or ashamed
• She may have had past negative experiences
• She may even be unsure of exactly what help she needs or where to look and she want to avoid appearing to be ignorant about a topic we’ve been programmed to believe is “natural”
• She may feel she should know instinctively how to care for her baby and she feels “less-than” which can exacerbate her feelings of being overwhelm. 

What action can family members take to help build up her trust and confidence to accept the help that is being offered? In other words What can we do to encourage her to accept help?  We know each person is unique with their own birth journey however there are some proven actions that family, love, and even care givers can take to reduce the possibility of depression. Along with her medical team everyone in her circle can be helpful.  In the FOZA Blog you will see that I have a more extensive list which I may cover in future broadcasts, but for now just 3.

First - Consistently Build on a Relationship Based on Empathy and Respect
Action: Show steady care and understanding without judgment. Build a relationship where she feels safe and comfortable and knows that your support is genuine and respectful. Don’t overwhelm her with your personal experiences…even if she asks for them, try to solicit her ​feelings and show gentle guidance when she needs advice. Be ready to lend a hand but only as much as she needs. Try to strike a balance. Don’t make her feel incompetent, strive to help her feel like she’s got this! 

Second - Be Patient and Persistent but not pushy
Sometimes it takes multiple offers or a gradual approach for her to feel comfortable accepting help. It’s up to us to be patient. If you ae placed in the position of helping out a friend who’s a new parent and you yourself have never had little ones think about it like our friend, advocate, and Author Julia Jones, her book Newborn Mother: subtitled when a baby is born, so is a mother has taught us the yes there are many things in nature that occur between mother and child, but there are many things they each have to learn. So if “patience” is not in your nature, then find ways to support mom in ways where patience is not critical, such as meal preparation, cleaning running errands and looking for resources like an easy-going person to manage younger child in the household or sit and listen , ) so again, be persistent in offering help, but not pushy or intrusive. 

Third  - Make your offer sound like Low-Pressure Assistance...Make it EASY for her to say yes:
Consider each of the objections I mentioned earlier and think carefully about the response you may give to each:

1. If She Expresses Feeling Like a Burden:
   "It's okay to lean on me. I really want to be here, and I genuinely enjoy helping. I’m prepared to help in any way I can."
2. If She Expresses Losing Independence or Control:
   "I admire how strong and independent you are, and it's completely okay to accept help when you need it. Know what? Accepting help is just another sign of your strength."
3. Embarrassment or Shame:
   "Everyone has moments when they need a little extra support. Now you are supporting an entirely new human being, and you’re doing an amazing job! I’m here to help you in any way I can."
4. Past Negative Experiences:
   "If you’ve ever had past experiences that might make it hard to trust offers of help, I’m sorry that happened, but I promise you can count on me, now. Let’s take things one step at a time together."
5. Uncertainty About Needs:
   "It’s completely normal to feel unsure about what kind of help you need. Let’s talk through it together and find what works best for you. I’m here to help you figure it out."
6. Feeling "Less-Than":
   "There’s no manual or guide for parenting, and everyone has to learn as they go. It’s okay not to have all the answers right now. You’re doing a wonderful job, and I’m here to support you in any way you need." 

We’re not suggesting that you use these terms verbatim, however as a member of her support team these statements may allow you to respond in supportive ways while avoiding any judgment or pressure according to your unique circumstances.
And keep in mind…direct suggestions are always good too: You can make a suggestion like "Can I bring over dinner on Tuesday or have it delivered?" or "Would it be okay if I care for the baby or the kids while you rest for an hour or two?" Making your suggestion in this way can minimize the pressure on the offer and …it can make it easier for her to accept the offer.
I’ve put together a short, video that you can share as a reminder to the community of how awareness can make it easier for new parents to navigate in the early days and transition into the world of motherhood.

​Fourth - Respect Boundaries and Preferences
Action: If they decline help, respect their decision without pressuring them. Let them know that your offer stands and they can reach out when they feel ready. Respecting their boundaries builds trust and shows that you respect their decisions.
Fifth - Communicate the Importance of Self-Care
Action: Gently remind them that accepting help is a form of self-care and that taking care of themselves is crucial for their well-being and the well-being of their family. Reiterate that seeking and receiving support is not a sign of weakness. It is a positive step.
Remember encouraging trust and acceptance reduces the risk of maternal burnout, and allows mothers and birthing people to rest and focus on their mental health and bonding with their newborns.
Sixth - Social Support in Maternal Mental Wellness is Providing a Safe, Active, Listening Environment
A Safe Active Listening Environment is one where A mom or a birthing person feels comfortable expressing themselves openly and honestly without fear of judgment or negative consequences. It involves creating a supportive atmosphere that fosters effective communication and understanding.
A professional’s ear will most likely not be  available on a full time basis, nor is it needed. However we are talking about saving lives…and we don’t always know when, where, and what to say. What we do know is this, Friends, family and caregivers can offer a listening ear without judgment, providing a safe space for birthing people to express their feelings and concerns. Regular check-ins, patient, thoughtful conversations, with no condemnation and validating their experiences help reduce feelings of isolation and can be a significant source of comfort during challenging times.
It is recommended that even family members take the time to learn more about what to say and do to create a safe, active, listening experience.
Seventh- Professional Resources Support  - Encourage and Facilitate Connections
Now that Community members and loved ones can play a role in connecting birthing people with professional resources, such as therapists, support groups, or maternal mental health specialists. They can help research and recommend local services, assist in making appointments, or provide transportation if needed. Encouraging and supporting access to professional help can be crucial for addressing and managing postpartum mental health issues effectively. Access to mental health professionals, such as therapists, counselors, and support groups, is vital for mothers experiencing more severe mental health issues.
Eighth - Informational Support

• Importance: Providing accurate information and resources about maternal health, parenting, and available services is essential for mothers to make informed decisions. Don’t just Google stuff.  If she needs help in getting to the doctor or getting professional assistance find ways to facilitate that.
• Impact: Informational support empowers mothers with knowledge, reducing anxiety and uncertainty about their role and the challenges they face.

Ninth - Social and Faith Based Networks

• Importance: Building and maintaining strong social networks with other mothers, support groups, and online communities creates a sense of solidarity and shared experience.
• Impact: These networks offer a space for mothers to share their experiences, advice, and coping strategies, which can significantly enhance their mental health and reduce feelings of isolation.  Community-based support, including faith groups and cultural organizations, helps mothers maintain a connection to their cultural identity while navigating the challenges of motherhood.

Tenth - Professional Support

• Importance: Access to mental health professionals, such as therapists, counselors, and support groups, is vital for mothers experiencing more severe mental health issues.
• Impact: Professional support provides specialized care and interventions, ensuring that mothers receive appropriate treatment for conditions like postpartum depression, anxiety, or PTSD.

Eleventh - Cultural and Community Support

• Importance: Support systems that respect and incorporate cultural values and traditions can enhance the effectiveness of emotional support, as mothers feel understood and supported within their cultural context.
• Impact: Community-based support, including faith groups and cultural organizations, helps mothers maintain a connection to their cultural identity while navigating the challenges of motherhood.

Role Emotional Support Provides Maternal Mental Health Issues

• Prevention: Strong emotional support can act as a protective factor against the development of mental health disorders in mothers by providing early intervention and continuous care.
• Recovery: For mothers already facing mental health challenges, emotional support plays a critical role in their recovery, offering encouragement, understanding, and tangible help.

In summary, emotional support is a multifaceted resource that profoundly influences maternal mental health, acting as both a preventive measure and a vital component of recovery. Investing in and fostering emotional support networks is essential for the well-being of mothers and their families.
Thanks for visiting this blog and listing to our podcast. Come again as we bring more topics related to the benefits of emotional support such as:

• Setting boundaries and showing respect
• Communicating the importance of selfcare
• Creating a safe active listening environment
• Encouraging and facilitating professional resources
• Providing informational support
• The benefits of social and faith-based networks
• The benefits of cultural and community support
• and The role emotional support provides in Maternal Mental Health issues

 
Thank you for your support!
Team FOZA